YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
