I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize