I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
