I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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