just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
