roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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