He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
