Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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