around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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