what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
