Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
