Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize