The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
