I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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