I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
The power of my boobs compel you
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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