you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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