Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
