you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize