Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
