i just had sex bonerless
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
