Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
