Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize