One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
