I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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