drinking out of a sandbucket again
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Blood and glitter go together right?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
