And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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