have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
