in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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