I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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