he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize