I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
