It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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