yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
