I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
