bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
