i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
