Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
4 words: hood of his car
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
