the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
