and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Randomize