After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
