How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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