If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize