i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
