You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Someone shattered a urinal.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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