the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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