What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Enjoy the penises
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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