Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I love you. Go after that dick
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
