I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
