I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
