life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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