So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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