I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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