is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
