he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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