Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
