Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize