it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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