Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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