I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
