I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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