Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
