Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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